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Couples & Relational Therapy

Couples & Relational Therapy

Photo of two people standing in a desert with mountains in the background

Couples I've worked with often share the same sentiment: We thought we were communicating all this time. They weren't. No matter how hard they tried, they were stuck in a never ending loop of miscommunication, hurt and loneliness.

 

I help couples access and articulate the underlying feelings that have been like bricks in a wall, serving as a protective barrier from emotional and physical intimacy. 

 

I don't take sides. I guide each individual towards taking accountability while providing a space for them to be seen and heard by their partner. I provide couples with the skills to manage old wounds, so the pain doesn't take over the relationship. I challenge grooved-in patterns and provide new perspectives so that cohesion, safety and intimacy can grow. 
 

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Couples therapy can help with the following: 

Explosive arguments or tense silence

One or both partners experiencing sexual difficulties (erectile function, painful sex etc.) 

Differences in desire for sex and intimacy 

Betrayals 

Conflict around opening up your relationship 

One partner exploring their sexuality and gender

I work with queer and heterosexual couples, as well as polyamorous partnerships.  I am delighted to offer relationship therapy for friends and for roommates looking to improve communication and reduce conflict. 

The quality of our relationships determines
the quality of our lives.

Esther Perel
close up of two people's hands linking pinky fingers

An 85-year long Harvard University study revealed the number one factor that makes us happy. Contrary to what you might think, it’s not career achievement, money, exercise, or a healthy diet.

The most consistent finding learned through 85 years of study on happiness is: Positive relationships. They keep us happier, healthier, and help us live longer. 

That's all easier said than done.

Most of us don't grow up with great models for how to be with other people. Often, without even knowing it, we re-create relationship dynamics learned and witnessed in childhood. We don't just do this with our romantic partners, but our friends, our colleagues and employers, and our own children.

There's more: not only are we unconsciously pulling from our own histories, so is the other person in the relationship. That's two different styles of communication, two different ways of handling conflict, two different sets of emotional needs and two ways of doing things. Of course things get messy. 

I can help. 

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